The Slight Edge of Life

 One of my favorite books for helping me keep my life on track is by Jeff Olsen, called The Slight Edge. It promotes a philosophy that has great power to improve or change our lives a little bit at a time. What he teaches in his book is that it is not the big monumental things we do that change our lives or make us successful; it is the little things we do every day over a long period of time that compounded, have the power to change our lives and make us successful.  Jeff preaches that “doing the right things every day matters”. This philosophy has been so helpful to me as I have the opportunity to make a good choices or poor choices every day. You see, the problem with the slight edge is that these little choices we make every day are easy to do and they are also easy not to do. So, it is critical that we remember and actually believe that they DO matter.

Do I drink this soda or not? Does it really matter? It doesn’t seem to matter. If I drink this soda or eat this candy bar, or stay in bed instead of getting up to exercise…none of these decisions will make much of a difference today, or tomorrow, or even 3 weeks from now; but they will make all the difference in whether I am happy, thin, successful etc. in the end.

It is the compounded effect of all of these small decisions over time that makes all the difference in the outcomes of my life.  This is both the power and the challenge of the slight edge philosophy. It is so easy to rationalize not doing one small thing that does not seem to make a big difference. So, I drink a coke, “big deal”, I miss a day of exercise, “big deal”, I watch tv instead of reading a good book, “big deal”.

You see, I consider myself a pretty good person. I try to do what is right, to be honest, to work hard, to make good choices. So, it would be just about impossible for me to do something big that was wrong. I could not rob a bank, or steal from someone or start using an illegal drug for instance. Those would be glaring exceptions to the life I am trying to lead and could not get past the gate of my conscience. But, the little things, the small, seemingly insignificant choices actually have more power to cause my downfall because they enter unrecognized. They make it through my x-ray machine unnoticed like the random toiletry bottle doesn’t show up in the airport security scanner.

My conscience allows me small indiscretions, which compounded over time can get in the way of me accomplishing my goals.

Jeff tells the story of two young men who get an offer from their grandfather. He offers them a choice of either a million dollars now or a penny today that will double in value every day for a period of time (can’t remember how long) but the point is that it is the penny, the small thing, compounded over time that brings true wealth. We see this illustrated in the lives of people who win the lottery, spend the money frivolously and then go back to living in poverty. They never learn to do the little things right every day and so the big things cannot make a difference either.

Another reason I am drawn to this philosophy is that sometimes I get discouraged thinking change is hard and I can’t be successful in some aspect of my life. And then, I remember that all I need to do is make the first small right choice today and then tomorrow and the next day and soon I will be on the track to success. I don’t have to accomplish a huge, daunting thing to be successful.

So, for me, the little things are: skipping that coke for water, exercising for an hour each day, eating a piece of fruit rather than the chocolate I crave, avoiding gluten, going to bed on time, getting up early each day, kneeling down to say my prayers, taking time to breathe deeply and contemplate all the glorious blessings in my life.

What are the slight edge things in your life? Can you begin today to do the right things for you? It really does matter you know.

Love and Light,

Beth

Mind-Body Alienation

Take a moment and breathe deeply allowing your body to relax so that you can come from that “place of knowing” inside of you. Now, ask yourself whether you feel a sense of mind-body connection, or mind-body alienation. I have worked with many people who have been abused as a child and suffer from life long debilitating issues that come from not being valued, cared for or accepted.

How often do we subject our body to the same type of abuse? We call ourselves names: fat, ugly, old, etc. I try to never do this by the way! I mentioned in a previous post that I had been feeling fat when I created my vision board, but I never tell myself that I am fat or send mean thoughts towards my own body. But what are the consequences of doing so?

We do not give our bodies the care that they need:  movement, stretching, sleep, nutritious food, high quality supplements and good water. Not only do we withhold the good things from our body, we subject it to abuse in many forms. We don’t get enough sleep; ingest horrible chemicals such as nutra-sweet, excess sugars, added hormones and preservatives.

So what is the cumulative effect of all of these abuses that we render upon our own physical bodies? It not only affects our physical selves, but our spiritual, emotional and mental capacities and connections are also affected. I have to wonder if when we strive to begin a healthy lifestyle, to lose weight, eat better and get more exercise, if we might do well by letting our body know that we love and value and appreciate it. I think we owe it a “makeup” for whatever abuse we have inflicted on it, just as we would strive to make amends to a friend or child we had inadvertently harmed. Could it be that illness is in part the result of this alienation between mind and body?

So, as we breathe deeply and tap into our unconscious wisdom, let’s ask ourselves what we can do to begin reconnecting with this physical manifestation of ourselves. Think of it as if you are adopting a child who has been abused and needs an extra dose of compassion, love, acceptance, support and understanding as it begins to regain a sense of it’s power, strength and ability.

I like to think that each of us has our own special “RECIPE FOR SELF-CARE”. Here is my own recipe that I have adjusted over the years to make it just right.

Beth’s Recipe for Self-Care

Continual Measures of Prayer & Faith

Continual Reflections of Gratitude

1 Hour of Exercise alternating with yoga 5x weekly

1 yummy protein shake

Daily high quality supplements (multi-vitamin & mineral, Omega 3  & 6, Vitamin D, Magnesium & Calcium, Vitamin E complex)

Lots of fruits & vegetables

Several doses of diaphragmatic breathing/day

Daily meditation of some form/

Scripture study

Contact with good friends in person or email

Frequent Hugs

Recently added: a daily soak in the hot tub

Please take a few moments to jot down your own recipe for self care. Add whatever you might need to do to reconnect with your physical self. Don’t judge…think in terms of nurturing in healthy ways.

Now, lets reconnect with our bodies. Can we be more mindful of how we treat them during the holidays? What types of foods will heal and restore? How can we get more movement? Take time to stretch and release tension? Slowing down, being mindful and listening to our body helps us to know what it needs.

Be well,

Beth

Vision Boards and Dreams

Vision Boards and Dreams

Have you created your vision board yet?  I know some people think it is hokey but those are the people who have never done one before. You don’t see the benefit unless you take the risk and create one. I started my vision board about 4 years ago. At the time, I was not feeling very good. I had been in a car accident, sustained a traumatic brain injury, had a horrible recovery from a major surgery and was completely lacking in vitality, and health as well as direction.

I captured quotes, phrases, pictures and ideas that I resonated with and wanted in my life. You see I think that is the magic of vision boards. It is a way of staking our claim on the world of possibilities. Putting something on your vision board is your way of saying “I am claiming these dreams as my own” or “I want to believe that I can have these good things in my life”. That is the first step. There are a million dreams out there and we must choose ours before we can make them come true.

Along with the phrases and pics I typed out a whole page of affirmations that I wanted to be true AS IF they already were true for me. I remember I was feeling not too great about myself and I put the phrase “I am thin and sexy and beautiful”. I am now several years older and I look pretty much the same but for some reason I feel thin and sexy and beautifulJ and people seem to treat me as if I am. How does that work?

I will post a picture of my own vision board to inspire you. I hope that starting today, you will stake our your claim on your dreams. “Hello world, remember me, from when I was young and thought that dreams came true? Well, I believe that again and these are my dreams!” 

Getting Started

Getting started with anything is always the hardest part. One of my favorite quotes is by Heber J. Grant and says "That which we persist in doing becomes easy, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased". So, I imagine that I will get better at blogging as I go. I would like to create a blog that includes some of my discoveries about people, life, marriage, intimacy, raising children, friendship, improving ourselves and creating a life that is mindful and full of joy. Oh, and my favorite topic that I will be posting on is "how do we keep ourselves healthy and feeling great?"

I am working on a PhD in Mind-Body Medicine at Saybrook University. I have learned so much about the nervous system and how important it is for us to take care of our nervous system with regular relaxation, meditation and especially deep, diaphragmatic breathing. I can't believe how much my health has improved since I have begun a regular practice of what I call "soft-belly breathing".

Breathe deeply now and go enjoy your day!

Beth